Posts Tagged ‘positive thinking’

Stuck in a rut? Lifestyle changes #2: Why are you here?

July 16, 2014

choose your path

A few weeks ago I began this ‘In a rut’ mini series with a few questions around where you are now: that is, where are you actually, as opposed where do you like to tell people you are (or even pretend to yourself that you are).

In this second part of my blog mini series, I’m looking at three factors which play a part in WHY you are here.

 

1) You’ve made (or not made) decisions that have got you here

A while ago I read a book by Larry Winget called ‘Shut up, Stop Whining and Get a Life’ – if that’s not a challenging title, I don’t know what is. One of the key themes that Winget writes about is the fact that we are where we are because of things that we’ve done and decisions that we’ve made.

This might make uncomfortable reading. I read Winget’s book at a difficult point in my life and believe me, I didn’t want to take any accountability for where I was at that point: I wanted to blame anyone and everyone for putting me there.

Before I go on, let me say that I’m NOT saying (and nor is Winget) that anyone is responsible for being the victim of crime or abuse. Clearly that is NOT the case.

What I WOULD say, though, is that we have a choice as to how we respond to our circumstances in order to create better circumstances (or not, as the case may be).

Maya Angelou, the poet, philosopher, activist and generally remarkable human being who died earlier this year overcame the abuse and racism of her difficult childhood to become one of the most influential and respected women of our time.

Model Katie Piper, whose ex-boyfriend disfigured her for life in an acid attack, overcame the physical pain and emotional trauma of what had happened to her and is now a TV personality and a spokesperson for burns victims.

I could go on. The point is that both of them could have given in to misfortune, accepted that their lot in life was not a happy one, and settled into a rut of blaming others for their situation.

Others may have been responsible for these women’s situations…but they took accountability for their lives and chose to move on.

So. What decisions have you made – or shied away from – that have led to you being where you are?

What would you do differently if you could turn the clock back…and what can you do NOW?

 

2) You get something from being where you are

Dr Phil McGraw writes extensively on strategies for life. I was reading one of his books recently and was challenged by the idea that, if you’re not changing a situation that you’re unhappy with, there must be something about that situation that you ARE happy with, and that does something for you in some way.

Like the statement in my first point, this can be hugely challenging, and, if you’re in that situation it can be difficult to figure out what ‘the thing’ is.

By way of example, I used to work with someone who was always complaining that a pet project of his never got the support of the organisation we were working for, never received funding and therefore had never got off the ground.

He was taken aback when one of my team managed to get him the funding he needed, to the extent that he almost tried to talk himself out of the project: it was too late, there still wasn’t enough funding, and so on.

The point was, he seemed to ENJOY being able to moan about not having the funding. It’d be a fantastic project…but THEY wouldn’t let it happen. He could have achieved something…but THEY wouldn’t let him.

With the funding in place, he had lost the ‘they’ he liked to blame.

On a another note, I had a friend who often found herself being asked at work to deliver high profile projects to very tight deadlines. She was great at her job and always delivered.

However, what started to happen more and more often was that other people who hadn’t managed their time properly would turn to her for help at the last minute.

She was becoming stressed and exhausted to the point of making herself ill. And yet…..part of her really liked to be the caped crusader who could fly in at the last minute and save the day.

Think carefully: if you’re not happy about a situation but haven’t don’t anything about it, what is that situation doing for you? 

Are you prepared to lose that ‘thing’ in order to create a better situation?

 

3) You don’t realise you have a choice

This is always a tough one – so many people don’t realise that they have a choice.

OK, so sometimes in life that choice is between a rock and a hard place, but there almost always is a choice, even if that choice is just about deciding on your attitude in response to a situation that’s not of your making.

‘I’ve got no choice’. It’s the voice of defeat. Of dejection. Of giving up.

We’ve all been there and heard that voice from ourselves at some point…but it’s a voice that lies. We have choices. If we’re brave enough to make them.

Where in the past (or even now) are you telling yourself that ‘you have no choice?’

Look again. They are there somewhere. Ask yourself: if you did have choices … what choices would those be?

 

Next time I’ll be looking at ‘what’s your destination’…. join me then!!

How to make negative emotions work for you

September 17, 2012

You don’t need ME to tell you that dwelling on negative emotions to the extent that they chew us up is never helpful.

However, emotions are a signal of something, and acknowledging them and analysing them can prove useful in finding a way forward and spurring us into action …

 

Regret: highlighting things to be replaced

Regret is often characterised by wishing you’d not done something, wishing you HAD done something or wondering what might have been if you’d taken a different course of action.

Overall, it’s probably more useful to focus on what IS rather than what might have been. However, focusing on the specifics of what it is you regret can be useful, as you may be able to replace or compensate for some of these things.

If you regret moving house, for example, WHY exactly? If you pinpoint exactly what it is you miss, you may well be able to find replacements where you are now.

If you regret a relationship break-up, what specifically were the good things about the relationship that you can find with someone else?

If your regret is about things that you wish you’d done but didn’t, or an opportunity missed, learn from that and DO something now.

 

Anger as a spur to action

In this context, anger could vary from mild annoyance to incandescent rage. And once again, if unchecked, anger can be extremely self-destructive.

However, it IS telling you something.

Try to focus on what specifically you are angry about. If you feel so strongly about it, what can you DO about it? Likely as not, the more angry you are about something, the more motivated you might be to do something about it. And make sure it’s useful: I’m not talking about revenge here!

Where I live, many people are angry that the local authority is planning to build hundreds more houses in the village. Many are planning to make a protest of some sort, and it’s fair to say that the strength of their feeling will probably have an impact on the level of protest they make.

If you really can’t do anything about the thing that is making you angry, think carefully about developing coping strategies – you may just have to learn to let it go – and perhaps consider a Plan B to address the issue.

Deciding to DO something rather than just feeling angry will make you feel more empowered and less helpless and frustrated.

 

Boredom as a signal for the need to change

Boredom. Stuck in a rut. Ho hum. It can often lead to frustration, which in turn can lead to anger.

It’s all too easy to blame circumstances, your job, your boss, you family situation … almost anything … for being stuck in a rut.

What boredom IS telling you, though, is that it’s time for change.

Don’t just sit there. Challenge yourself to do something different. Try something new.

 

Fear as a spur to develop strength of character

Fear is the biggest single factor that stops people from doing things: fear of what people might say, fear of being wrong, fear of failure, fear of success.

The clue is in the title of Susan Jeffer’s book ‘Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway’: feeling fear, isolating SPECIFICALLY what you’re afraid of and moving beyond it are the stepping stones for developing courage, confidence and strength of character.

I once (briefly) overcame my fear of heights and abseiled down the side of a tall building for charity. My specific fear was of falling to my death. Logically, given all the safety procedures, I knew that that simply wasn’t going to happen: I still FELT the fear, but I focused on the logic of stepping over the edge and raising a few funds for a good cause, and I did it.

I’ll never do it again, mind you … but at least now I know that I can overcome my fears and just get on with it if I have to.

 

Jealousy to tell you what you want

Ah! The green eyed monster! How could jealousy POSSIBLY be useful in any shape or form?

In common with ALL negative emotions, extreme jealousy is NOT helpful. Mild envy, though could be telling you something.

I’m not the least bit envious of people who drive big fancy cars even if they brag about them … because I really don’t care about big fancy cars.

On the other hand, I always feel a slight pang of envy when I hear of someone I know having a book published … because I want to have a book published. I don’t begrudge them their success, but I DO recognise that their success is something that I’d like to emulate.

So that’s it: I’m going to write a book.

Who do you envy, and for what? And how might you turn wishful thinking into a determined action to achieve something?

 

In a nutshell, then, what are your negative emotions telling you? Focusing on the emotion, rationalising it and figuring out exactly where it’s coming from, and then moving through it to some sort of action could ultimately make the pain worthwhile.

 

Ideas + guts + action = success

September 3, 2012

Last week I attended a networking event, held at the Anta showroom on George Street in Edinburgh.

For those not in the know, Anta sells the most beautifully designed, covetable things handcrafted in the Highlands of Scotland (have a look for yourself at www.anta.co.uk and you’ll see what I mean. And order their catalogue – it’s got some fabulous recipes in it!)

One of the most inspiring things about the entire evening was the story of how Anta came about, as told by its founder, Annie Stewart.

Here are three key things that I took from her story:

 

Ideas

Whilst many people start out with a clear vision of what they want to achieve, this isn’t always the case.

Far from having a lightbulb ‘eureka moment’ that was to shape the rest of her life, Annie speaks of leaving Edinburgh Art School with a degree in Fine Art, and having an ‘”oh sh*t” moment, when it dawned on her that she’d have to do something to make a living.

Capitalising on knowledge that she’d developed from her course, she approached a weaver of Scottish tartan and asked him if he’d weave a small bolt of cloth in a traditional pattern, but using pink and lime green wool.

Whilst the weaver wasn’t entirely delighted with what he’d produced, Annie set about making ties and other accessories with the resulting cloth.

Sometimes necessity really IS the mother of invention: sometimes you have to be in an uncomfortable place in order to feel the need to do something different.

The challenge is, what knowledge do YOU have (even if other people also have that knowledge) that could, with a twist here and there, be turned into something new and unique? And are you, in fact, too comfortable with the status quo to really bother doing anything with those ideas?

 

Guts

With a small range of accessories made of her lime-green-and-pink tartan tucked into a suitcase, Annie set off to visit a friend in New York.

While she was there, she telephoned round a few designers and department stores: note, we’re not just talking one or two small boutiques here, we’re talking Jasper Conran, Bergdorf Goodman – the highest end of the fashion market.

In short, she managed to blag her way in to see some of the biggest names in fashion at the time, and to begin to sell her accessories in prestigious locations.

Often, success requires us to be brave and step out and do something, even though we might be taking a personal or emotional risk. Success takes guts. It means taking a risk that someone will laugh at you, shut the door in your face, or just say “No”.

On the other hand … they just might say “Yes”.

So here’s the question: what are you afraid of? Is it just time to feel the fear and do it anyway?

 

Action

Success in the States and recognition from major-league fashion houses brought its own challenges in the early days: the almost accidental design of tartan ceramics led to a commission from Vogue for corporate gifts for its advertisers, which in turn led to one of those advertisers placing an order for a large number of ceramics which they wanted delivered in a very short space of time.

Annie and her team of designers and craftsmen back in the Highlands of Scotland took the commission and, despite time pressures, delivered.

And here’s another lesson that often gets missed: once you’ve set yourself up as something, you have to follow through on it. This is about more than delivering on your promises – it’s about psychologically stepping up to the plate and becoming the person you aspire to be. It’s about not being afraid of success.

It would have been easier to take a step back and say “sorry – we can’t fulfil that size of order in the time” and take a step back. But that’s not the choice that Annie made.

And the challenge for the rest of us? To be brutally honest, most of the time, it’s just ‘easier not to’. But success requires you to get off your butt, rise to the challenge and DO something when most people don’t.

 

Now, some 25 years on, Anta is a thriving business providing a valuable outlet for the handiwork of dozens of skilled designers, craftsmen and women.

Who knows: but for an idea, some guts and some serious action, it might never have happened.

Positive Thinking and Resourcefulness … and Macaroni Cheese.

May 22, 2012

Let me nail my colours to the mast: I find people who constantly complain and take a negative view incredibly annoying. It’s a behavioural trait that I find difficult to tolerate … that said, I’m very well aware that I used to be very negative and sarcastic myself …

Today I’d like to share a little story about my friend Sarah and her macaroni cheese to highlight how – by contrast – a little positive thinking and resourcefulness can go a long way.

About 20 years ago, Sarah and I were room-mates in halls of residence at Birmingham University (UK). In typical student fashion, the closer we got to the end of term, the less money we had, and the deeper we dug into our overdrafts.

On one Saturday afternoon, we were both hungry, but a quick inspection of the cupboard (which rapidly turned into a desperate search for anything edible) revealed that we had practically nothing to eat.

My own response was to grumpily resign myself to the fact that I was either going to go hungry or head to the supermarket and get further into student debt.

Sarah, though, had other ideas. “What can you make with flour?” she asked.
“Flour and what?” I replied.
“No,” she said, “just flour”.

Imagining the most tasteless of flatbreads, I dourly replied, “nothing”.

About half an hour later Sarah appeared with two plates of macaroni cheese.

Where … How??! I cynically thought she must have resorted to theft … but no!

Searching again in the cupboards that we’d previously thought were bare, she’d found a packet of dried macaroni left by a student the previous year. It was past the ‘sell-by’ date … but it was dried macaroni … how bad could it possibly be? (Not bad at all, as it happened)

She’d also remembered that on our outside window ledge (we didn’t have a fridge) we had left a few individual portions of wrapped cheese that we’d pinched from the student canteen.

I’m guessing she stole a splash of someone else’s milk from somewhere in the kitchen … and with such unpromising ingredients had conjured up a passable macaroni cheese for two.

The moral of the story is:
1) Think positively and don’t give up. Where there’s a will there’s a way.
2) If the situation seems bleak, look again carefully, and re-evaluate: you have more resources at your disposal than you realise
3) Think laterally and don’t give up: even with a little it’s possible to do quite a lot.

And Sarah, if I never said so at the time, thank you for that macaroni cheese … and for the surprising life lessons it taught me 🙂

Goal Setting Success Factor # 4 – Plan it and DO something!

April 9, 2011

Actually managing your goals… and managing yourself to achieve those goals is likely to take a bit of time and a bit of self discipline. Yes, it would be great if we could just daydream, visualise and focus on our future and it would all magically fall into place, but actually, we need to get off our butts and DO something in order for anything to happen at all.

If you’ve given consideration to my Goal Setting Success Factors 1 – 3, you’ll already have a strong reason why you want to achieve your goals, and you’ll have a clear understanding of the skills you have and the skills that you need to do it. 

These are very strong foundations as you consider what exactly you’re going to need to DO in order to achieve your goals.

Here are my top 5 tips and factors to consider as you start to take action towards your goals.
 
Tip # 1 – be prepared to be patient
We live in an instant, push-button, get-it-now society. EVERYTHING happens fast – hey, if we’re kept for more than 2 minutes in the queue at MacDonalds we start to get fidgety and cross.

Achieving your goals is not like selecting a chocolate bar in a vending machine, putting in your money, pressing a button and ‘voila!’ there it is.  If your goal is really what you want, it’s worth making a bit of effort.

In his book Principle Centred Leadership, Steven Covey talks about the ‘law of the farm’. You plant something, you tend it, and in its season it’ll bear fruit. You DON’T plant a seed and expect to find a tree there the next day.

Challenge yourself to take action towards your goals. Don’t lose heart if it doesn’t happen for you overnight, though: remember that perseverance is part of achievement.
 
Tip# 2 – learn how to plan

It’s important that you plan how you’re going to approach your goal – even if you’re naturally a bit disorganised (like me) it’s important that you do this, and don’t just dive on in… and potentially miss out something vital.

First, you’ll need to break your goal down into smaller chunks (the ‘journey of the thousand miles beginning with the first step’, as it were). To define these smaller ‘sub-goals’, it’s usually easier to work backwards from your main goal than to try to guess at what the first step should be.

For example, if your goal is to be a published author, what else will you need to consider on your way to that goal? Is  your work formatted in a way that editors want? Have you had it proof read? Will you need to find a literary agent? How will you approach and promote yourself to publishers?

From here, you might say that one of your sub-goals is to find a literary agent. So now, you need to consider how you might do that. Perhaps the one of the first tasks you need to get your teeth into is researching literary agents, and working out how to make your pitch.

When you’ve decided what these smaller steps will be, you need to turn them into SMART goals… yes, THIS is where that whole SMART thing comes into its own, and not before!

·         The goal needs to be Specific (e.g. “I need to find a literary agent in the USA, who deals with children’s authors)
·         It needs to be measurable (e.g. “I only need the one agent, thanks… but I might need another one if I want to be published in Europe”)
·         Aligned with your overall goal (“Is getting an agent aligned with my goal of getting published? Yep”)
·         Realistic (“It’s a challenge, but can I do it?”)
·         Time bound (“WHEN will I do this?”)

That last one – Time Bound – is the biggest challenge.  If you don’t have some sort of timescale, there’s a danger that nothing will actually get done, so push yourself to set some deadlines.
 
Tip # 3 – be prepared to be focused
If your goals are worth it, they deserve to be kept in focus. Broadly speaking, stick to your plan, and work fairly methodically through it.

Don’t work slavishly through it, though – remember that the journey is, for many people, as important as the destination.

Opportunities that you hadn’t considered might present themselves along your way, and it’s important that you’re able to make the most of these. However… beware of ‘bright shiny objects’ that might appear to be opportunities, but can actually be distractions, taking you away from your main goal.

When these things present themselves, weigh up carefully whether or not they are actually helping your towards your goal (in which case, make the most of them) or whether they are taking you away from your goal… in which case, leave them alone.

When I started out in training and development, I was offered a PR contract (something I used to do in the past). The fee would have been good, and I’d have been able to do the job, and at first it seemed like easy money. However, my goal was to build my training and development business! How was doing someone else’s PR going to help towards that goal? It wasn’t! I politely withdrew from the contract.

The strange thing was, while I was briefly working on that PR job, I felt really uneasy and frustrated because I wasn’t working on my own goals. Sometimes, there’s a lot to be said for listening to your gut: if it feels wrong, it probably is.
 
Tip # 4 – learn to prioritise and do the right things
Once you’ve broken your goals down into sub-goals, you’ll begin to arrive at something that looks like a to-do list.
Just a quick question – how do you prioritise the tasks on your list? Really??

Most people will head straight for the tasks that they like doing, that are quick to finish, that someone else has told them they ought to do, etc., etc. Prioritising in this haphazard way, though, can lead to the sort of day when you’ve been busy for hours… but achieved nothing.

According to Steven Covey (and I’d agree!) the only two factors on which we should prioritise are the urgency and the importance of the task.  I have a to-do list that’s split into four sections:

A. Urgent and important
B. Important, but not urgent
C. Urgent but not important
D. Not urgent and not important

The A section containts things that I really need to get done this week. If I don’t do them, I’m going to set my ‘goal plan’ back.

The B section is for longer-term projects: writing an e-book, developing a new training course, that sort of thing. They’re important, but I don’t need to do them right now. I DO, though, break these into sub-goals, which are on my A list… I don’t want that vital B list to drift on and not get done because I’m fire-fighting in the A section!

The C tasks are less important to ME, but might be important to someone else. In the UK, we had to fill out a census recently: if we didn’t complete it on time, we risked a £1000 fine!  Things on your C list can be time wasters if you spend too long on them. If they are urgent, get them over with and move on as quickly as you can.

The D section contains tasks that really don’t matter. I might want to download a few MP3 clips, for example, or buy a couple of things on Ebay. The question is… should these things be on my to-do list at all? In some cases (like my purchases here) I still want to do them BUT I’m not going to waste time on these tasks when the A and B tasks are waiting in my in-tray.

Give this a try – my productivity increased significantly when I split up my to-do list like this.  Another thing worth doing is getting hold of Brian Tracy’s book ‘Eat That Frog’ , which is great on making the most of your time.

Whatever you do, don’t fall into this trap “In absence of clearly defined goals, we become strangely loyal to performing daily acts of trivia”.
 
Tip #5 – just get on with it!
Many people, sadly, will get as far as Goal Setting Success Factor #3 and stop. Why? Because it’s fun to daydream about our successful futures, to think about building our confidence and making an impact, and to think about the skills that we have… skills that could take us to the top.

When it comes to taking action, however, many people bottle out. PLEASE don’t let that be you. Take your aspirations, dreams and goals, your skills and your growing confidence and TAKE ACTION.

About 500 years BC, the founder of Buddhism wrote “There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth… not going all the way, and not starting.”

Step out bravely. Do something.  Just make a start.

Goal Setting Success Factor # 3: Develop an Enquiring Mind

April 5, 2011

Achieving your goal is going to involve you building on your existing strengths, learning new skills and growing in new directions. If it doesn’t, you’ve probably set your sights too low.

This might mean many things: maybe it’s a question of developing your confidence; perhaps you have all the skills you need to achieve your goal … your problem is developing the self discipline to apply yourself, plan your route forward and get on with it! For someone else, wanting to achieve a lifetime’s ambition of running a marathon, say, it could be the challenge of doing MORE – pushing oneself to run further and further each week until the goal is reached.

Organisations need to also bear in mind that strategies for growth MUST involve developing individuals across the organisation and giving them a strong reason ‘why’ (our Goal Setting Success Factor #1) … but that’s a subject for another post.

So – what do you need to learn? And how? Here are 5 key areas:

1. Develop a positive mindset to learning, as part of your journey.

This is vital. As you journey towards your goal, you’ll constantly discover new things that need to be learned, new skills, behaviours and attitudes that need to be acquired. Learning is positive. It is the road to development and growth. It is NOT a remedial measure to correct some sort of personal defect.

It’s absolutely CRITICAL that you develop this attitude towards learning – otherwise you could fall into the trap of being overwhelmed by what you think you DON’T know, rather than actively looking to learn and develop the skills you NEED.

Remember – we never stop learning. Even experts in their field continue to learn, develop and grow.

2. Don’t be modest – consider what you’re good at.

Take stock of yourself – what are your strengths? What do you enjoy doing and what are you good at? There will be plenty of things that spring to mind immediately, but you may need to ask trusted friends for their thoughts too, as they might have recognised some strengths in you that you weren’t aware of.

There WILL be skills which you think of as ordinary and ‘anyone-can-do’ which are in fact unique to you. Find out what these are. Consider how you might leverage them to achieve your goal.

3. ‘Mind the gap’: identify your gaps in knowledge, and areas for development and growth.

This is often easier said than done, and it’s ESSENTIAL (I can’t stress that enough) that you do this in a positive frame of mind and as a step forward towards your goals.

What do you need to learn in order to achieve your goals? Again, some of these things will be fairly straightforward to identify – if I’m going to be a successful photographer, I need to not only be good at taking pictures, but know how to promote and sell my work, how to manage my finances and so on.

Be aware, though, of areas of ‘unconscious incompetence’ – things that you don’t know you don’t know. There are things you can do to try to tease some of these out, but there will always be ‘Doh!’ moments when you become aware of one of these.

Be thankful that this ‘gap’ is now known to you – don’t waste time kicking yourself about not having realised it before.

4. Learn how to learn – a crucial life skill.

Let’s face it – you could waste a fortune on training courses, coaching sessions, internet information products and so on (somewhat ironic that, as a trainer and coach, I’m telling you that).

Once you’ve identified gaps in your knowledge, you’ll need to give some thought as to how you might address these. In terms of thought processes, try to remain positive and ‘solution focused’, i.e. say to yourself, “I’m going to improve my marketing skills” and NOT “I’m rubbish at marketing, so I have to get better.”

Think laterally: who do you know that you could ask? What connections can you make from other industries / walks of life? Where can you find free information?

Consider also – at what point do you leverage the skills of others, and use THEM to fill in your gaps (hiring a book-keeper, for example, or getting someone else to build your website)?

5. Face your fears: in the words of Mr T, “Quit your jibber jabber – get some nuts!”

Learning new things inevitably means pushing yourself outside your comfort zone. Just grasp the nettle and get on with it: don’t make excuses or try to talk yourself out of trying something new.

Susan Jeffers’ book ‘Feel the fear and Do It Anyway’ is a classic on this point. At the risk of sounding clichéd … JUST DO IT! And don’t worry if it doesn’t work out perfectly first time – it’s all part of the learning experience.

So there we are – five key aspects of learning and honing the skills you need to achieve your goals. Take a positive approach to learning. Boldly assess your own abilities, and the areas in which you need to develop (some of which may already be strengths).

Be creative in how you learn. Don’t be afraid to try something new, and do something different. Learn. Grow. Fly.

Jedi Wisdom from Yoda – Give Up Trying

January 21, 2011

What?! Jedi master Yoda advises not to even bother trying? Surely not! Surely that flies in the face of Jedi philosophy?!

Actually, I wouldn’t know the finer points of Jedi philosophy. What I DO know is that in this particular scene, Yoda’s advice really hit home and taught me a valuable lesson.

Luke Skywalker has travelled to the swamps of Dagobah (I think – Star Wars buffs will doubtless correct me if I’m wrong) to train to be a Jedi Knight under the watchful eye of Yoda.  As he struggles to master his craft, Yoda asks him to use The Force to lift his crashed space craft out of the swamp.

“I’m trying!” says Luke, somewhat exasperated.

Yoda replies “THERE IS NO ‘TRY’. THERE IS ONLY DO… OR DO NOT DO”

And my point is…?  Well, how many times have you told yourself “I’ll TRY to write that report today”, or “I’ll try to make time to visit Auntie Morag”, and just… well… never quite got round to it?

If you invite someone to a party and they say “I’ll TRY to come along”, in your heart of hearts do you think to yourself  “Great! they’ll be there!”?  Lets face it, you probably know that they aren’t going to pitch up, they just didn’t want to tell you to your face at the time.

“I’ll try” is very often a cop-out. A self delusion. An endeavour to dupe ourselves into believing that we are actually going to do something when, really, we kind of know that we’re NOT going to do it at all.

So take Yoda’s advice: stop trying. Decide to do or not to do. And then follow up and get on with it

Every (snow) cloud has a silver lining

December 7, 2010

I could put yesterday down as a complete disaster: a futile attempt to travel from Glasgow to Bristol – icy roads – no buses or taxis – a near 2 mile trek through ankle deep snow to the airport  – cancelled flights – queues at baggage reclaim – the journey home….what an utter waste of time.

However,  Adam J Jackson’s book ‘The Flipside’ talks about finding the hidden opportunities in life, and looking for positives rather than negatives. And he’s right.

I met some great people on my journey whom I’d never otherwise have encountered: Ian from Belfast, who shared the walk to the airport with me; the bus driver who stopped to let us on; the lady trying to get home to London; and Colin, the cheeriest taxi driver in Ayrshire amongst them. Even the Easyjet staff were calm and helpful (I thought) in the face of a legion of thwarted travellers.

As Shakespeare wrote in Hamlet  “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so”.